A Precious Gift

You have left me with something wonderful,
where others tried and did not succeed.
You may not know you gave it, but now
I carry it around inside of me.

It made me look within to find
the difference between desire and need,
and it led me to discover something more,
though I can't tell you exactly how I did.

I have turned away from it, again and again,
and suffered longer than I care to say,
because it was something truly precious
that I did cast away.

I turned away love, and later did lament
for never having any.
I blamed myself, and vowed to never
let it happen again.

It seemed that there were plenty of times
when I was meeting many,
but somehow...
I was always too proud, or too ashamed.
I was either too eager, or too tentative.

I was often too caught up
in the pursuit of something or someone else,
to notice that someone cared, 'til when
it was far too late for me to act.

Ah, but I didn't know the secret then.
I was a victim of my own
false sense of morality,

and I was not yet able to see
the deeper wisdom, or feel the joy
that this sweet secret knowledge can bring,
but now, at least I do know why.

What you gave me is hard to describe,
to put into words, but I will try.
In truth, the meaning is simple, but
it is a subtle point for those
who don't know how to find it.

There is value to tenderness
apart from any relationship
which may ever exist
between people who are being together.

It was hard for me to understand
because I had not ever been
with someone, like yourself, who was
a little different from the rest.

Every opportunity I have
to be close with another person
is something precious,
in and of itself.

Whatever form that affection may take,
it doesn't have to be a prelude
to something more, in order to be worthwhile.

The magical moment of being together
is something special in itself,
something never going out of style.

It is good for both of us.
It can be lots of fun, and thus
It is a good thing to enjoy
every moment's precious pleasure.

To be able to express affection is grand.
Just to be close to someone can be sweet.
Things don't have to go exactly as planned
for closeness and love to have meaning for me.

You were there for me
when I needed someone
though you knew I could never be your own.

Neither too proud, nor too ashamed,
you took your time to be with me,
and made me feel like I could be the one.

Your gift took time for you to give,
but it will longer stay with me,
because the meaning still unfolds,
and will as long as I shall live.

The gift which has now come to me
is the very gift that I must give,
and with the will of nature to be
the very life that I will live.

It has the power to set me free.
'Tis a gift of Power, and of Love.
And, since this gift has come to me,
'tis a gift I now know the meaning of.

Jonathan J. Dickau ©'96,'99
all rights reserved

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